2 comments«1»anonymous readerReport 2012-02-20 22:55:53also try and keep it in either first person or third personanonymous readerReport 2012-02-20 08:05:50it’s a great first story. Okxxx As there is a large family, I’d suggest expanding the story and lengthening the chapters/sections.«1» As there is a large family, I’d suggest expanding the story and lengthening the chapters/sections.«1» As there is a large family, I’d suggest expanding the story and lengthening the chapters/sections.«1» As there is a large family, I’d suggest expanding the story and lengthening the chapters/sections.«1» As there is a large family, I’d suggest expanding the story and lengthening the chapters/sections.«1» As there is a large family, I’d suggest expanding the story and lengthening the chapters/sections.«1» As there is a large family, I’d suggest expanding the story and lengthening the chapters/sections.«1» 2 comments«1»anonymous readerReport 2012-02-20 22:55:53also try and keep
